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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402023">Finding a Way Back to You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingdeadsea/pseuds/livingdeadsea'>livingdeadsea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NieR: Automata (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Post-Canon, Post-Ending D (NieR)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:21:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,419</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingdeadsea/pseuds/livingdeadsea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The androids wake up. The war is over, but the damage has been done. </p><p>Post-ending D/E. Focuses on 2B and 9S's relationship and the aftereffects of what 9S went through. Also includes various memories 2B has of 9S's other lives.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>2B/9S (NieR: Automata), 9S &amp; A2 (NieR: Automata)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. AwaKe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The last thing 9S remembered was being run through by A2. But he didn't feel any pain. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking as they adjusted to the light. Blue sky was above him. <em>Why am I still alive?</em> he thought. <em>I've done what I set out to do. I killed A2. I should be dead too. I have no reason to be alive any longer. I achieved my revenge.</em> He stared at nothing, not attempting to get up. <em>Maybe I'll just lie here until I rot</em>. </p><p>That thought only lasted for a few minutes. Blonde locks and a face that looked so like the one he loved looked down upon him, accompanied by the two pods. </p><p><em>Oh</em>. She was still alive too. Rage seeped into him. He bolted up and reached back for Cruel Oath but felt nothing in its customary spot. Of course the last place he remembered seeing it was piercing A2's gut. No way she would give it back after that. </p><p>"Easy," she said, lifting her hands in a gesture of surrender. </p><p>"Warning," chimed pod 042, "Do not attempt to engage unit A2." </p><p>9S looked around the field around him, trying to find something suitable to use as a weapon to defend himself while hacking, but found nothing. </p><p>He prepared to pierce her mind anyway but went stone still at the familiar voice that shouted "9S! Nines! I'm so glad you're alright!" </p><p><em>2B</em>.</p><p>9S stared at the girl that had haunted his dreams and nightmares. He sank to his knees as an anguished cry tore out of him. </p><p><em>How many times will they do this to me? How many times will I have to save her? Kill her?</em> </p><p>2B stopped, looking confused and concerned. "Nines?"</p><p>Tears began running down his face. "Don't worry 2B. I'll do this as many times as I have to." </p><p>His gaze landed on Virtuous Contract on her back. </p><p>He went from lifeless to manic instantly, charging 2B wildly, screaming. 2B was so caught off guard that 9S had grabbed Virtuous Contract before she knew what was going on. He swung at her wildly, hacking forgotten in the frenzy.</p><p>"Nines!" She sidestepped a slash. "Nines stop, it's me! It's really me! Please!" Her pod activated a melee shield around her as 9S screeched and hit it over and over. A2, who 9S had forgotten in his frenzy, flanked him and knocked the sword away grabbing him and pinning him down. </p><p>"You said he was a little unstable. This is more than a little!" 2B said icily to A2 as the shield deactivated.</p><p>"Okay, fine. He went totally and completely nuts. Is that what you wanna hear? I figured he'd be fine when he saw you." 9S was thrashing and screaming where he was pinned under her. </p><p>"What I want to hear is the truth. You didn't tell me everything, did you?"</p><p>Pod 153 piped in. "Unit A2 neglected to mention the severity of Unit 9S's psychological trauma. His focus remained solely on getting revenge by killing Unit A2. 9S was also forced to kill a great number of duplicates of Unit 2B. 9S most likely believes that the real 2B is one of those duplicates." </p><p>"I didn't know about the duplicates. I wasn't there." A2 said. 9S began to calm underneath her. </p><p>As 9S's breathing slowed and he relaxed a bit, 2B approached. He didn't react when 2B sat beside him so she tentatively put her hand on his cheek. "Nines. What happened?" </p><p>He looked at 2B without really seeing her. "It was supposed to be over," he croaked, voice raw. A2 slowly removed her hands and stood up. 9S didn't move. 2B began to stroke his hair. He leaned into the touch and sighed, closing his eyes. </p><p>A2 grabbed Virtuous Contract and took it across the field, sitting down and giving the other two privacy. </p><p>"A2 killed you and then I killed A2 and she killed me. So why am I here? Why is she? There's no purpose without you, 2B."</p><p>"I'm here Nines. I'm here." </p><p>"But you're not you. So you have to die. But not right now. I'm just going to enjoy this a little longer." He moved his head into her lap. </p><p>"Nines I'm here. I'm real." Tears fell from 2B's eyes onto 9S's face. His eyes fluttered open. She gently wiped her eyes before steeling herself.</p><p>"Hack into me. By now you have to know what I am, and there are some unpleasant memories in there. But if it'll get you to see me, then I want you to do it."</p><p>9S sat up and looked into her visorless eyes. He had seen her without the visor so few times. She had such beautiful eyes. Emotions being prohibited in YorHa, she had practiced keeping her voice and mouth from betraying her emotions, but since she always had her visor on, she had no reason to do so for her eyes. Right now they were full of worry and concern.</p><p>Doubt creeped into 9S's thoughts. <em>Was this her? The real one? It couldn't be. But the duplicates were so cold.</em></p><p>9S slammed the door on those thoughts. No. It was a betrayal of the real 2B to mistake her for this thing. But hacking into her would prove it, right? There was no harm in trying.</p><p>9S took a deep breath and dived in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. MeMoriES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>9S explores 2B's memories of them together</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was no security. Everything was left open. The first thing he saw was--</p><hr/><p>2B sprawled out on the grass. More relaxed than 9S had ever seen her. And laying beside her...was 9S. And he understood. This was another time they had spent together. Before she killed him.</p><p>9S propped himself up on his elbows. "According to some data I found, flowers had special meanings to humans and gave them to their loved ones as a sort of secret message. The color of it could even change the message entirely. Like this," He grabbed the flowers he had picked from a little patch while they were out scouting earlier. "Red tulips: to declare love. And white tulips: for forgiveness."</p><p>2B looked down, tears brimming in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.</p><p>9S handed the little bouquet to 2B, looking at her earnestly. "I love you, 2B. And I know what you are. But it's okay. I still treasure every moment with you. It's worth it. I forgive you for what you have to do."</p><p>2B's smile was laced with sadness. She had been through this so many times before. This time, she had tried to keep her distance, but he was so good at breaking her walls down.</p><p>9S lay back on the grass and took off his visor.</p><p>She gingerly unsheathed Virtuous Contract and knelt over 9S aiming it at his heart. "I love you too, Nines. I always will."</p><p>9S smiled, but tears leaked from his eyes. "Promise me something, 2B. Promise me it'll always be you. I don't want anyone else to take my life. I know it’s selfish but--”</p><p>"I've promised you this many times, Nines. Of course. I'll always come back to you."</p><p>She shoved the sword into his chest.</p><p>Sobs wracked her body as she collapsed on 9S's corpse. It took hours before her voice was steady enough to call in her mission complete. </p><hr/><p>9S gasped and tried to catch his breath but--</p><hr/><p>It was raining. 9S knelt before her on a rusty platform, face desperate. He tore off his visor so 2B could see his eyes, see the emotion and ruin. "Run away with me, 2B! We'll never have to go through this again! We'll go rogue and find someplace far away and--"</p><p>
  <span>"And YoRHa will hunt us forever! They’ll hunt us until they find us and kill us and then we’ll be dead for good." She turned away from him, overwhelmed by the emotion in his eyes. “I’ve gone through it all. Every scenario! And there isn’t one that ends happily. This is as close as we get.” Her grip on her sword was tight and her chest ached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't care! 2B you're worth it.” Despair laced 9S’s every word. Please let's just--"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her sword ran him through. Blood bubbled from his mouth. His expression changed to one of betrayal. “2...B…” He collapsed onto the platform, into a puddle of rainwater, blood, and rust. </span>
</p><hr/><p>The memories kept coming and of course it had to be her it was 2B she was here and he didn't know how but it was her and she loved him--</p><hr/><p>There was 2B at the abandoned factory as 9S swooped down in his flight unit. Her chest clenched with grief as he called her ma'am again. This time she would keep her distance. It hurt too much. But she would keep her promise. It would always be her. She owed him that much.</p><hr/><p>The goliath finally exploded into bits after 2B and 9S had spent what seemed like forever raining blows on it. While 2B tried to dodge all the projectiles flung at her, a few managed to hit her and she could feel the sting. She sat down on the crumbling rooftop and 9S rushed over to her. </p><p>"2B, are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine 9S. No major damage."</p><p>"Let me see." </p><p>She extended her right leg where she had gotten hit just above her knee. 9S tenderly examined it before putting some staunching gel on the wound. His visor had gotten torn off in the fight and she could see his eyes. He held such care in those eyes. So selfless and generous and wonderful. </p><p>He moved closer to take care of the wound on her shoulder. As he finished with it, he looked up at her and with her head turned toward him, his face was inches from hers. 2B felt breathless but knew it wasn't from the fight. Her eyes locked with his. <em> I can’t, I shouldn’t. </em>She knew how Nines felt about her. The same as he had every time. She had tried to push him away, knowing there was nothing but pain for them down that path, but she was drawn to him. She leaned in and gently, hesitantly, kissed him. He leaned into it, deepening the kiss, his arms wrapping around her neck. It amazed her how his lips could be soft and rough at the same time. Her hands laced through his hair. He surprised her by taking the lead and slipping his tongue in her mouth. It wasn’t perfect and their teeth clashed a bit, but 2B loved it anyway.</p><p>When they finally broke apart, breathless and lips slightly swollen, 9S grinned. 2B felt a flutter in her black box for the boy she was going to have to kill again, and knew she was utterly fucked. </p><hr/><p>9S finally managed to pry himself out of 2B's mind before another memory assaulted him. 2B was hugging him and there were tears streaming down his face. He didn't know how long he'd been wrapped up in her memories.</p><p>"2B," he whispered. "It's really you." He sat back and looked at her, really looked and saw the girl who had spent lives loving him.</p><p>"Yes it's me, I'm here."</p><p>"How? You...A2 killed you..."</p><p>"The pods. They ignored orders and put us back together. It took a lot of time and work but they did it. We're here. We're together, Nines."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was feeling really nitpicky writing this chapter, but I'm still not 100% happy with it. It felt endless writing it, but it's so short. If you have any critiques or suggestions, lmk I'd really appreciate any feedback. Comments are what writers live for!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. FeaR</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>9S is not okay. Things get angsty.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>9S might never be the same. 2B knew that. Her death had scarred him. But he was going to be okay now. That was the important thing. He was resting for now, the influx of emotions having taken a toll on him. She was tired too, but wanted to talk to A2 and the pods. She wanted to know the full extent of 9S’s suffering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hovered around where A2 was lounging in the grass. She swatted at 042 playfully. She had clearly become accustomed to having them around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I take it he’s not going to freak out anymore?” A2 asked, glancing up at 2B’s approach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not entirely sure. I hope so, but...he’s been through so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that much. You’ve seen his death how many times, now? I feel for him, but it’s pathetic how easily he broke.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I thought you meant that, I would have my sword at your throat right now. I know you care. There’s no reason for you to pretend you don’t anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh.” A2 sighed and stood up to face 2B. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you tell me what really happened while I was gone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. But you won’t like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care. I want to help him, but I need to know how bad it is. Clearly it’s much worse than you told me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I just didn’t want to freak you out after you’d just woken up. And I wasn’t around him that much other than when he tried to kill me. 153 can probably do a better job, considering it was actually with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pod 153 chimed into the conversation. “Unit 9S’s mental state began to quickly deteriorate upon witnessing Unit 2B’s death. He experienced manic periods wherein he would kill many machines and delight in their destruction, followed by depressive periods in which he would not move or speak for days at a time. He had a fixation with revenge on not only Unit A2, but all machines. He would laugh during his killing sprees. Scans indicated that he seemed to derive an almost sexual pleasure from it. He repeatedly killed machines that were begging for their lives. His condition steadily worsened until the point at which he and Unit A2 killed each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B, usually good at keeping her emotions in check, physically recoiled pod’s description of 9S. If she’d been human, she might have vomited. This sounded nothing like her Nines; he was gentle and compassionate. He may have killed many machines before, but he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>enjoy </span>
  </em>
  <span>ending an existence. She looked over to where 9S was resting on the grass. He looked like her Nines, not savage or cold-blooded. It was hard to believe he was capable of that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She went over to Nines, knelt down, and scooped up his still-slumbering form. “I’m going to take Nines back to the Resistance Camp, so we can both get some proper rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A2 nodded and just said “I’ll be around,” before turning and walking away in the opposite direction of the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pod 042 hovered uncertainly between them before 2B waved it off to follow A2. She could probably use a bit of companionship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B carried 9S back to the resistance camp, Pod 153 bobbing along behind. An android was hard to wake from rest mode once it had entered, but 2B was careful to not jostle 9S too much. When she entered the little square at the Resistance Camp, no one seemed to take notice at first. She was taking Nines toward their room when Anemone looked up. She must’ve mistaken her for A2 at first, because it took a few seconds for surprise to register on her face. She started to stand up from her desk, but 2B shook her head and said simply, “Later.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this, a few others in the camp seemed to take notice and realize that it was, in fact, 2B among them, but she ignored them kept walking toward their room and closed the door firmly behind her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laid Nines down on his bed and started toward her own, before realizing that, just as she had told A2, there was no reason to keep herself distant anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lay down beside Nines instead, her head in the crook of his neck and her arm draped across his chest. She closed her eyes and fell asleep curled against him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the first time in a long time, 9S woke up feeling safe. He wasn’t dragged from sleep by a nightmare--which androids weren’t even supposed to have--or punched in the gut by the realization that 2B was gone, or driven out of bed by the burning need for revenge. He turned toward 2B and wrapped his arms around her. He lay like that for a while, not wanting to move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until horrid thoughts popped into his head, screaming and whispering that </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s not her, there's no way it can be her, you’re being deceived KILL HER KILL HER BEFORE SHE CAN HURT YOU.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>9S's eyes closed and his face scrunched up as he tried to block out the images of torturing 2B, of cutting her up and watching her scream that flashed through his mind. He knew it was her, he didn't want to hurt her. Thoughts and fantasies like this had plagued him since he encountered the fake 2Bs. Before, they had seemed a part of him, egging him on towards his goal of revenge, but now they were separate from him and </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>9S felt 2B’s hand gently cupped his face. He tried to concentrate on her but the thoughts were loud and insistent. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Grab her sword and slice her up! She deserves it!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“...alright? Nines?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He realized that she had been speaking to him when his mind cleared. He opened his eyes and scrambled back off the bed, panting and scared. He backed up against the opposite wall. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I won’t hurt her! I won’t! </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>2B had a concerned look on her face. “Nines, it’s alright, it’s just me.” She stood up and reached a hand out toward him. He cowered from her and she jerked her hand back as if it had been burnt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, 2B!” He fled from the room, from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“9S!” 2B called after him. She hesitated, uncertain, before running after him. She saw him leave the resistance camp and run along the stream before he turned and disappeared into the maze of buildings that was the city ruins. She knew the chances of finding him were slim if he didn’t want to be found. If he was afraid of her, should she even try to look for him? She slowed to a walk. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it because of what I am? </span>
  </em>
  <span>2B thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s never reacted like this before. But, I suppose it is the proper reaction to learning the one closest to you has killed you over and over again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed and sat down by the stream. Was this it? Separated so many times, forced to relive a tragic history, finally reunited for good...only for him to be driven away by what she’d done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was honestly incredible to 2B that this had never happened before. 9S had been accepting and he’d been desperate and he’d been heartbroken, but never afraid of her. She was always fearful when the moment came that he figured out what she was. That he would hate her. Condemn her. Cower from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as he'd done today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laid her face in her hands and cried.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sooooo all the post end fics that show 9S as being perfectly fine after everything just didn't seem realistic to me. He would be Messed Up after all that. I've also decided to up the rating as I'm in the process of writing some smut. We'll see how that goes. Sorry this chapter is so short, I had a lot more, but decided to break it up for story purposes. But it is close to done, so expect it soon! Don't forget to comment if you liked it or have any suggestions. Comments are what writers thrive on!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. LoSt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>More angst and a dash of smut. You will hurt.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had taken her until his second life to fall in love with him, but he was enamored from his very first encounter with her. </p><p> </p><p>“2B! There you are. I hadn’t seen you in awhile and was hoping you hadn’t been reassigned.” 9S jogged up to her, a grin on his face. "Glad you're back."</p><p>The forest he had been scouting in swayed in the breeze around them.</p><p>“What does it matter? Scanner units are designed to work alone,” 2B replied, averting her eyes.</p><p>“I just like having you here with me.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t.”</p><p>“I know. I know you’re here to kill me.”</p><p>2B looked up at him, shock managing to show even through her visor.</p><p>“I just can’t help myself,” 9S continued. “You’re so wonderful to be around. You’re so strong and beautiful. And if it wasn’t you, it’d be someone else, so it’s not really your fault.”</p><p>2B was shocked. He knew and was unbothered by it. <em>Incredible. </em>She took a deep breath and steeled herself. She drew Virtuous Contract and held it in front of her in a combat position. <em> This is just another job, </em> she thought. <em> Even if...even if I have grown fond of him. Even if he doesn’t care what I am.  </em></p><p>9S simply sat down on the forest floor and took off his visor. He looked up at her. “I won’t fight you. Because...I love you, 2B. You can say whatever you want about androids and emotions, but I know that I love you. You’re amazing.”</p><p>2B tightened her grip on Virtuous Contract. No one had ever complimented her like that. Sometimes she would get a “good job” from her operator, but… being called beautiful and amazing was something else entirely. And...love. He thought he loved her. She pushed it to the back of her mind before she could process it. </p><p>She had to do this. There was no alternative.</p><p>“I’m sorry, 9S.”</p><p>She plunged her sword into his chest. Her own chest felt tight. She pulled her sword out of him and watched his body fall to the ground. She clenched her jaw and chastised herself. <em> You knew what was going to happen. No more making friends with targets. </em>She tried to forget his words. </p><p>It didn’t work.</p>
<hr/><p>9S was panicking. He couldn’t hurt 2B, she was his everything. He ran through the city ruins, not knowing where he was going just knowing he couldn't be near her while these thoughts plagued him.. He unwittingly ended up in Pascal’s village. He slowed to a walk as he approached Pascal near the entrance, smiling at the kind, familiar face.</p><p>Pascal gave him a warm welcome. “Hello! So nice to see you! What brings you here?”</p><p>“I was just passing by. Decided to stop and say hi.”</p><p>To his surprise, A2 strode around the corner of the walkway. She frowned at him. “Where’s your lover girl?”</p><p>“Still at the Resistance camp. We do occasionally do things alone, you know.”</p><p>A2’s face twisted in disbelief. “Sure you do,” she said somewhat sarcastically. “Since you’re here, help with some of the rebuilding.” </p><p>It wasn’t a question, but 9S simply said “Okay.”</p><p>“Oh, thank you!” Pascal said, with delight in his voice. “Unfortunately, we machines have much more limited movement than androids, so it makes the process quite slow. A2 has been a great help, and I’m sure you will be, too!’</p><p>“Over here. Help me replace this walkway,” A2 said. </p><p>9S followed her over to a collapsed and burnt section, and they started pulling up the damaged boards. Pod 042 floated around gathering tools and materials.</p><p>Before 9S could say anything, A2 pressed, “So, no 2B?”</p><p>9S made a choking sound and said “None of your business.”</p><p>A2 chuckled. “Okay, whatever. I’m just glad you haven’t gone berserk on me.”</p><p>“2B trusts you, for whatever reason. It’s her place to forgive, not mine. I still don’t particularly like you, but it doesn’t matter as much.”</p><p>A2 sighed and said “You know she asked me too, right?”</p><p>9S paused what he was doing, board in hand, as he looked at her with surprise.</p><p>“Keep working,” she snapped at him.</p><p>As he resumed working, she resumed talking. “She knew she wasn’t going to make it before the virus took over. She was terrified she was going to kill you. For good, since YoRHa was gone. She wanted me to kill her before she could hurt you.”</p><p>9S felt awful for what he’d done to her. For killing her. “A2, I’m sorry for-”</p><p>“Nope, no getting sappy on me,” A2 interrupted. “I just wanted you to know.”</p><p>“I <em> am </em>sorry.”</p><p>A2 just nodded. “Now we need to get the new boards to replace this section.” She gestured to the pile on the ground below. Get down there and toss ‘em up to me.” </p><p>9S slid down the ladder and handed boards up to A2 as she nailed them in place. </p><p>“Okay so what’s the deal. You’re acting all weird,” A2 said. </p><p>“So I wasn’t exactly myself after you… after 2B’s death,” 9S said.</p><p>A2 snorted, “No kidding.”</p><p>“I think it broke me for good.” </p><p>A2 sighed. The hammering paused and she sat on the edge of the walkway. “I can’t tell you it didn’t. But you were so far gone. It’s a miracle you’re as sane as you are now.” She spoke gruffly, but it was clear she cared. </p><p>“I can’t be around 2B without thoughts of hurting her. There’s these thoughts in my head… I think of torturing and killing her. Of making her suffer.” 9S held such anguish in his voice. </p><p>Pod 042, floating above A2, joined into the conversation. “You may be experiencing intrusive thoughts. Largely a symptom of mental illnesses such as post-traumatic stress disorder and bipolar disorder. Mental illness was common in humans that had experienced trauma, such as a loved one dying.”</p><p>9S looked up at the pod, surprised. “I’m not <em> that </em>human, pod. That’s ridiculous.”</p><p>A2 cocked her head to the side. “Androids were modeled after humans as closely as possible. You are a person. It's not that unlikely.”</p><p>9S scoffed. </p><p>“Has Unit 9S discussed these troubles with Unit 2B?” Pod 042 asked.</p><p>“I’m not going to tell her that I fantasize about killing her!” </p><p>A2 rolled her eyes. “After all the shit you two have been through? She’s the most likely person to understand. After all, she <em> has </em> killed you.”</p><p>9S just shook his head. He couldn’t put into words just how awful the thoughts, the images were. How much this tore at him. His stomach churned. “Let’s just get back to work.”</p><p>A2 shrugged and the hammering quickly resumed. Pod 042 carried nails to A2 as 9S continued collecting boards and tossing them up to A2. </p><p>Their work continued in silence until A2 stood up and declared them done for now, tossing her head back and stretching her arms above her. “You can come back and help later.”</p><p>9S said nothing and wandered off in the direction of the amusement park.</p>
<hr/><p>2B had gone back to the Resistance Camp and explained her resurrection to Anemone. She seemed a bit surprised but accepted it with her usual matter-of-fact demeanor. Some of the other members of the Resistance greeted 2B with a surprising amount of warmth. Jackass was even excited to see her. Probably more as a test subject than a friend, but it still felt nice.</p><p>After the various Resistance reunions, 2B headed out toward the desert to look for various parts a couple people had asked her to grab. She wanted to be useful, needed. She ran through the city ruins, half hoping to see 9S, but-- luckily or unluckily, she couldn’t decide-- she didn’t see him. If she found him only to see that fear in his eyes again, it would kill her. She swiped at a tear leaking from her visor, which she had returned to her eyes, and resolved not to think about it. She managed to make it a whole 2 minutes before her thoughts returned to 9S.</p><p><em> Maybe he’s still adjusting, </em> she thought. <em> I’ll just stay out in the desert for a while. </em>She had the whole desert to look through after all. It would take her a while to find the specific parts that the Resistance members needed. </p><p>She trekked the dunes at a leisurely pace, even stopping to admire the beauty of the desert. She had never really looked. Nines was always the one to point out the wonders of nature and mankind. Her heart sunk at the thought of never seeing new sights with him. She wanted to explore every corner of Earth with him. She lay down on the dune and closed her eyes, finding comfort in memories.</p>
<hr/><p>The second time she met him, her black box fluttered at the sight of him. </p><p>They met at the bunker. She went to his room and knocked on the door. It slid open to reveal 9S sitting on the edge of his bed. He popped up and stood ramrod straight.</p><p>“Hello. Um…”</p><p>“Sorry for startling you. I’m 2B. We’ll be working together for the foreseeable future.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, ma’am. We scanners work alone, so it'll be nice to have company.”</p><p>“No need to call me ma’am. 2B works just fine.” She grinned at him against her better judgement. She realized that she had missed his company.</p><p>He grinned back and laughed a bit. “I’m definitely gonna like having you around.” </p><p>Her black box gave another flutter.</p><p> </p><p>After a few weeks of working together again, she had a hard time keeping focused on fights. She was injured after almost every battle.</p><p>“2B,” he said after one such skirmish, “is everything okay? You’re ending up hurt so often. I’m worried.” </p><p>She sighed and sat down on the ground, leaning up against the crumbling building beside the battleground. He knelt beside her as he took care of her scrapes from the fight. She tensed up as he touched the gash on her face.</p><p>He sat back, satisfied that she was okay, and asked again. He looked at her tenderly, biting his lip slightly. “2B please, I can tell something’s wrong. What’s going on?”</p><p>To 9S’s shock, she took off her visor. She’d never done that in front of him; at least not to his knowledge. She’d hid her emotions so often that she was no good at expressing them. She hoped that he could see the feeling in her eyes.</p><p>‘“9S, I…” Her voice caught in her throat. She felt useless at conversations and emotions. Her gaze turned downward.</p><p>He caught her face with his fingers, lifting her chin back up until her eyes met his again.</p><p>“2B, just say it. Please.” 9S’s voice was low and soft.</p><p>She forced the words out. “I-I love you, Nines.”</p><p>9S’s eyes widened in surprise. He swooped down and captured her lips with his, hand sliding down to her waist. He clung onto her like a lifeline. </p><p>2B went still with surprise before returning the kiss fervently.</p><p>As they broke apart, he let out a breathy laugh. “You had me scared, 2B. I had no idea you were acting this way because of <em> me. </em> Am I really that distracting?”</p><p>2B smiled and leaned her forehead against his. “I want make sure you stay safe in fights. I've been trying to make sure you're alright and not paying attention to the machines right in front of me.”</p><p>“Twooo Beeeee,” he chastised. “Oh wait. I forgot to say. I love you, too, 2B.”</p><p>“I know, Nines.”</p><p>“Nines… I like that.” He grinned at her.</p><p>She smiled back. Fuck staying distant. She was in love.</p><p> </p><p>It was bliss. Love was so human that 2B thought it was out of her reach. She had known about the lovely and horrible things humans would do for love, or if love was taken away from them. She hadn’t understood it. But looking at Nines in the never-changing light of day, she knew she would do almost anything for him. He turned and smiled at her, as if sensing her gaze. His visor-less eyes glinted in the sunlight. The plain spread out around them, not even a machine to adorn the landscape. </p><p>“Why’d you bring me out here, Nines?” </p><p>“I just wanted to be alone with you. No machines, no anything. Just us.”</p><p>“Nines, you didn’t have to bring me all the way out here,” 2B laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward her. She leaned down and kissed him deeply. </p><p>9S had a mischievous smile on his face when they broke apart. He lay down on the grass and pulled her down on top of him so she was straddling his legs. He pulled her closer and whispered low in her ear, “You know we were made with all the same parts as humans. Haven’t you been curious, 2B? Gotten the urge to do something more? Wanted to just lay me out and <em> fuck me? </em>Because I’ve fantasized doing it to you soooo many times, 2B. ” A shiver went down her spine, and she felt a warmth pool in her lower abdomen at just the sultry way he said it. He pulled her down toward him and she felt the bulge in his shorts under her. She thought about the times she had touched herself, sometimes with 9S sleeping right beside her.</p><p>He flipped her underneath him and kissed her jawline up to her earlobe, nibbling on it. His teeth on her skin and his breath in her ear made her let out a moan. She quickly clapped a hand over her mouth, embarrassed. She’d never made a sound like that before.</p><p>9S let out a chuckle. “Don’t be embarrassed, 2B. You sound beautiful.” </p><p>She relaxed back into him as he continued kissing near her ear. She shivered again as his tongue trailed down the column of her throat. Tension built between her legs as his erection pressed up against her.</p><p> He took her gloves off, followed by his own. She traced her hand up his chest under his shirt. He reached behind her and unlaced her top, followed by her skirt. Both were thrown to the side as soon as they were off. Her white leotard didn’t cover much beneath. His own shirt and shorts were discarded quickly, leaving him in just undershorts that did nothing to conceal how hard he was. </p><p>As 9S grabbed her thighs, 2B was suddenly aware of how wet it was between them. 9S’s thumb slid up one of her thighs until he encountered the wetness. When he licked it off and kissed her, his tongue caressing hers, 2B thought she would combust with want. She tasted herself on him.</p><p>He pushed himself up from her, grinning down at her. She grabbed his hips and pulled him back down. She didn’t know exactly how to do this, but she knew she wanted more. Her mouth found his again. Her hands explored his body before gripping his ass. </p><p>He let out a breathy moan. “Excited aren’t you, 2B? I’ve done a little research, so just let me take the lead.”</p><p>He slid the straps of her leotard down and she lifted her hips as he pulled it off of her. He smirked at the practically dripping crotch of it. </p><p>He reached up and gently squeezed her breasts before trailing his hands down to her thighs. He teased her opening with a finger before slipping it inside her. 2B gasped and arched her back. He pumped the finger in and out a few times before adding a second, and she gasped again. She began to rock her hips and he matched her rhythm. </p><p>2B made a disappointed sound when he pulled his fingers out of her, but he licked them off and put his face between her thighs. He licked her folds before thrusting his tongue inside her. Her back arched again and she moaned, hands threading through his soft white hair. He swept his tongue up to the most sensitive point. Her hands tightened in his hair and her thighs tightened around his head. She had never felt pleasure like this before. Her breathing got heavier as his tongue settled into a rhythm against her clit. He put just the right amount of pressure in just the right spot. Her muscles tensed and her hips bucked as she neared release. She let out something between a moan and a scream as she came. She pulled Nines’s hair and bit her lip as pleasure wracked her. “Oh, Niiiines,” she moaned.</p><p>When her breathing slowed and the orgasm abated, Nines lifted his head and crawled back on top of her kissing her, the taste of her sweetening the kiss. “You’re so beautiful, 2B,” 9S moaned.</p><p>2B wanted more. Her nails dug into Nines’s back. She needed him to feel this with her. </p><p>She kissed him fervently and pulled his undershorts down his hips. He jerked them the rest of the way down and off. </p><p>He kissed and bit the side of her neck, breathing her in. </p><p>2B’s hand was in his hair again. She tugged and his head tilted back as her other hand trailed down his abdomen, ending on his hard dick. She lightly traced the length, hearing 9S’s breathing speed up. He gave a small whimper before grabbing 2B’s hands and pinning them above her head. He trailed kisses as far down as he could reach while still pinning her. His hand went between her thighs again, fingers inside her, and when he was satisfied she was ready, let up from her hands and slid himself inside her. She moaned his name and her nails raked down his chest. He started slowly thrusting in and out. She grabbed his shoulders and moaned, “Harder, Nines.” He thrust himself deep inside her and paused, looking down at 2B. He licked his lips and she whimpered under him. “Nines, what are you doing?” </p><p>“I wanna hear you beg for me, 2B,” he whispered sweetly in her ear. “I bet you’ve never begged for anything in your life.”</p><p>“Nines,” she said, shaking. “Please.”</p><p>“You can do better than that.”</p><p>“Nines!” she said, exasperated and hungry for more.</p><p>“Come on, 2B.”</p><p>“Please, Nines! Please, please fuck me, I want you so bad.”</p><p>“That’s more like it,” he purred in her ear. He began thrusting in and out again, rougher and faster than before. They both groaned and clung to each other as the pleasure built up and up. He gripped her ass and her hands were locked around his neck.</p><p>She held her breath as she worked toward her climax, 9S moaning her name. Every muscle was tensed up until she went over the edge, and he followed half a second later. Every nerve seemed to buzz with pleasure as she rode out the orgasm. Just when it was winding down, she came a second time, hands in 9S’s hair again, and she let out a rough scream. </p><p>After it diminished again 9S let out a puff of breath and untangled himself from her before lying down beside 2B. She wrapped her leg around him and kissed him gently. She was exhausted, but satisfied.</p><p>“I take it you liked that?” 9S asked with a grin.</p><p>She giggled. Truly giggled. “I didn’t expect the domineering side of you, Nines. But, I liked it. A lot.” She giggled again. She had never giggled in her life until today, but she had just done it twice in a row. </p><p>“Much better than doing it yourself when you think I’m asleep, right?”</p><p>2B’s eyes widened in surprise and her face reddened. </p><p>“It took a lot of restraint not to pounce on you then and there, but I wanted everything to be right. And it was so much better than I’d thought it could be.”</p><p>She kissed him again.</p><p> </p><p>When she got the order to kill 9S again, her heart broke. She knew it was coming, but it still hit her like a ton of bricks. She fell to her knees. Her chest felt like it was going to burst. But she knew this wouldn’t be the end of them. He’d fallen in love with her twice, and he would again.</p><p>But could she take the pain? </p>
<hr/><p> 9S liked the atmosphere here. The odd music and weirdly peppy machines of the amusement park were fascinating to him. He sat on the balcony of one of the buildings and smiled wryly at the pops of confetti in the air. <em> Do machines think the same way androids do? Do they ever have any of these problems? Or is it just malfunctions? </em> He thought back to the machine that was obsessed with beauty. She’d tried to model herself after an opera singer. <em> What led her to that?  </em></p><p>His thoughts drifted to 2B, as they always did. What was wrong with him? And more importantly, how could he fix it? The only ones 9S could think of who might’ve been able to help were Devola and Poppola, and they were gone for good. Would he have to live his life never seeing 2B again? Too afraid he’d hurt her? Could he be around her and keep her at arms’ length? Would that be worse than not seeing her at all? His head swirled with questions.</p><p>He got up and wandered around the park, smiling and waving at the odd machines. He traded pleasantries with a couple machines that he recognized. </p><p>Eventually he ended up by the roller coaster. He decided to ride it again, this time no machines to fight. He wanted to know why humans enjoyed it. </p><p>He flipped the switch and hopped in a seat as the car began to leave the station. He closed his eyes and leaned back as the car ticked up the first incline. As 9S felt it crest the hill and start downwards, his stomach gave a little swoop. It plunged down, back up, and around curves at high speeds. He felt like his guts were doing flips. He smiled and started to laugh. It reminded him of the feelings he got around 2B. </p><p>When the car squeaked to a stop and 9S jumped out, his spirits felt renewed. He wandered around the park a bit more before deciding to do a little research. He tucked himself into a back alley and pulled up files on humans and mental illness. He was fairly certain it couldn’t be what afflicted him, but he figured it was always better to have more information.</p><p>They ranged from mild inconveniences to completely debilitating. Most seemed to be treatable, but not curable. Chemical imbalances in the brain could be corrected with continuous medication. Therapy also contributed.</p><p>That was of absolutely no help. Even if he were somehow able to get any kind of medication, it likely wouldn’t work on his android physiology. Therapy? There was certainly no android or machine that could perform it. </p><p><em> So, if this is what’s wrong with me, which it probably isn’t, but if it is, there’s essentially no hope, </em>he thought. He sighed and leaned back against the rough brick wall behind him.</p><p><em> Maybe it’ll just go away? No, that won’t happen. Things don’t fix themselves. </em> He felt a bit stupid for even thinking it could. </p><p>He started back toward the resistance camp, hoping maybe he could find some task that someone needed done to distract him for a while. </p><p>He reached the city ruins when he saw her.</p><p>She must’ve heard his approach. She turned toward him.</p><p>2B’s visor was back on. That was the first thing that 9S noticed. Her expression was neutral. She was still as a statue.</p><p>9S directed his gaze toward the ground. He could barely look at her. Shame bubbled up in him. Did she know? Or was she just trying to give him space? <em> Her blood on your hands, a sword through her heart. No!  </em>He squeezed his eyes shut and turned away from her, fear written plainly on his face.</p><p> </p><p>2B backed away. She couldn't take it. Panic took over. She could bear anyone else’s disgust and fear, but not his. This time she was the one to run. <em> I was right. He hates me, he’s afraid of me. And he has every right to be after everything I put him through. I’m unforgivable, unlovable, worthless worthless worthless. </em>She ran until she couldn’t. Until the stumbles outnumbered the steps. Until the tears blurred her vision so bad she couldn’t see. She wasn’t needed, wasn’t wanted anymore. She realized she was in the forest only when she almost ran face first into a tree.</p><p><em> I should just keep going. Past everything I know. Run until I break down. </em>But she didn’t move. Her breaths came faster and shallower. Her thoughts ran together until despair and panic and anguish were all she knew. She clawed at her chest, desperate to escape herself. She realized she was on the ground but didn’t remember falling. Dirt was in her mouth, her hair. She was consumed by the intensity of emotions.</p><p>She didn’t know how long she’d been lying there, but eventually her breathing started to slow. She stood up, brushing dirt off of herself. She felt numb and exhausted. Recognizing the area of the forest she was in, she realized the friendly animal-loving machine she had helped out before was nearby. She would feel a bit safer if she could rest in a place where rogue machines and animals couldn’t get to her. Maybe he’d let her sleep in his little shack. She started off in that direction.</p><p> </p><p><em> She ran. 2B ran from me, </em> 9S thought. <em> She has to know. She has to know how fucked up I am now.  </em></p><p>He continued walking toward the Resistance Camp. He approached just as A2 was walking out.</p><p>“Woah, you look terrible,” A2 said.</p><p>9S said nothing. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his visor, tied it on, and kept walking.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wrote smut! I was afraid it was gonna be awkward and weird but I think I did a pretty good job. Oh and just in case it's confusing to anyone, I use the line between paragraphs to mean that there's a time difference, like going from memory to present or vice versa. I think 2B falls back on her memories when things get rough and tends to live in the past. I kinda drew on some of my own experiences for a little of 2B's stuff in this chapter. Having someone you thought loved you begin to look at you with disgust is truly an awful feeling and has sparked an anxiety attack in me as well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. TrUth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>New information comes to light</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>9S had been one of the few things 2B had lived for. It was the thought of seeing him again, even if it hurt, that kept her going. Otherwise, she would've broken down long ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now what did she have left? 9S hated her and her operator, 6O, the one other friend she'd had, was long gone. The Resistance members were nice to her but she couldn't exactly call them friends. A2 was… not really a friend either. 2B didn't actually know what A2's opinion of her was. A2 knew her a lot better than she knew A2. <br/></span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I'll find something new, </span>
  </em>
  <span>2B thought.</span>
  <em>
    <span> There has to be a reason to keep going. Maybe I should talk to A2. Find out what she lives for. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>2B thanked the little caped machine sitting with his moose for letting her rest in his shack, and started off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to see A2, but didn't really know where to look. And she really didn’t wanna run into 9S. She would probably have to talk to him eventually, but right now, it hurt too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B supposed the easiest way to find A2 would be to ask around. On her way to the Resistance Camp was where she'd ran into 9S, though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the transporters went down, she despised the size of the area, but now it seemed way too small. There really wasn’t any way around it though. There were natural barriers that surrounded the region, making it difficult to get through in any direction (and impossible in the direction of the sea). It wasn’t practical for someone to leave without a fight unit unless they didn’t intend to come back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wished her pod was here so she could contact A2 directly. But then again, if she had the pod, A2 would have no way of contacting her. 2B realized that, while 042 was most likely with A2, but she hadn’t seen 153 in quite a while. It hadn’t been with 9S when she saw him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She mentally shrugged. It had to be around somewhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breathing in the bright forest air, she decided to risk the resistance camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her walk over was uneventful. No sign of 9S. Perhaps he was avoiding the area for the same reason she’d wanted to; he didn’t want to run into her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To 2B’s surprise, she found A2 at the resistance camp, leaned over Anemone’s desk where Anemone herself sat. A2 was very close to Anemone, smiling and even laughing a bit. 2B’s eyebrows rose. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Are the two of them…? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A2 stood up straight and turned toward 2B at her approach, clearing her throat a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Anemone. Can we talk, A2?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, sure. Let’s walk.” A2 strode out of the Resistance Camp, deliberately not looking back at Anemone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B looked at Anemone, who just shrugged before turning back to whatever was so interesting on her desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pod 042 didn’t follow the YoRHa units out of the camp, instead opting to stay and assist Anemone and some of the other Resistance members.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B found A2 near the stream just outside the camp. “So, you and Anemone?” she said as she walked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” A2 said, too quickly. “And that’s clearly not what you came to talk to me for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. What do you live for, A2?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A2 cocked her head a bit to the side. “What do you mean?” At 2B’s downcast expression, she said, “Ah, so that’s it. You and lover boy. He told me a bit, but I’m surprised he told you. And I’m surprised you’re just giving up like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B sighed. “He didn’t exactly tell me, but he’s too afraid to be around me. I don’t know what else to do. You have energy and will to live even without anything like what Nines and I had. You lived without any purpose from YoRHa for so long.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I haven’t had any kind of weird, tragic love like you,” A2 said, absently rubbing her temple. “After I discovered YoRHa’s betrayal, after realizing how we were used, I started to become my own person. Not just a unit, but a person who could do whatever they wanted. Realizing it was a lie was awful, of course. But also freeing. I didn’t have to follow orders. I didn’t have to obey anymore. I discovered how much else there was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B hadn’t expected much from this, considering A2’s somewhat rough way with words, but what she’d said made 2B feel hopeful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Without YoRHa’s bullshit and the machine wars, there’s a lot of opportunity to do new stuff,” A2 continued, shrugging awkwardly. “Broaden your horizons or whatever. There’s just...so much shit out there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was oddly helpful, A2. I appreciate it,” 2B said genuinely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” A2 muttered, clearly uncomfortable at the show of emotion. “You should talk to 9S, though. I don’t think it’s as hopeless as you think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I can face him again.” 2B sighed and bit her lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A2’s head cocked to the side. “Wow. Isn’t that really hypocritical?” Disdain colored her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean by that?” 2B was taken aback.<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I mean how many times have you killed him? And he hasn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>done</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything and you can’t face him?”</span>
</p><p><span>2B’s mouth twisted into a frown. “He ran </span><em><span>from</span></em> <em><span>me,</span></em><span>” she choked out, despair saturating the words.</span></p><p>
  <span>A2 paused, realization dawning on her face. “Oh. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>know what this is about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B hesitantly said, “He’s afraid of me because of what I’ve done. I’ve seen how scared he looks when he’s around me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A2 scoffed and shook her head. “You can be really dense sometimes, you know that? He didn’t want me to tell you about it so I won’t. But he should. Go. Talk to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B’s mouth was slightly agape. Her mind raced. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not me? But… it has to be. What else could it be? I have to see him. I have to know. I have to know if he hates me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Pod!” A2 yelled. After a moment, 042 floated down the incline from the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Greetings, Unit A2.” it intoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah hi. Where’s 9S right now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unknown.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, why?” A2 demanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pod 153 is not currently accompanying Unit 9S.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is 153?” 2B asked, puzzled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pod 153 is currently attempting to recover another member of YoRHa. Namely, Unit 21O. Pods 153 and 042 conjectured that another unit that is a friend to Unit 9S may improve his mental and emotional state.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even after everything the pods can still surprise me. They care so much, </span>
  </em>
  <span>2B thought, touched by their actions. “What are the chances of 21O actually being recovered?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unit 21O’s black box is the only component that must be recovered. Any other parts are able to be rebuilt from spare parts. The chances of recovering this are approximately 2.16%. However, given the extent of Unit 9S’s distress, we concluded that trying was imperative. Given that pods 153 and 042 were able to repair Unit 2B after being infected with a logic virus and the black box penetrated, it is reasonable to expect that we will be able to do such again. The complication will be finding the black box or its pieces.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“9S was forced to fight her too,” A2 confessed. “I may have delivered the final blow, but… it still messed him up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nines… how much is he going to have to go through?” 2B lamented. A tear leaked from below her visor before she swiped it away. “Thank you, 042. I’m going to find 9S.” Resolve filled her heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now where to start looking?</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it took me awhile to update, finals are kicking my ass ugh. Online classes suck so much. I've also made a spotify playlist of songs I've been listening to that give me 2B/9s feels if anyone's interested. It is made of songs from my music library though, so it's very much catered to my music taste. I promise I'll get a meatier chapter up soon when I'm not being beaten to death with schoolwork. As always, comments are appreciated! Thanks for sticking with me</p><p>Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1BiM4EC3a1c3kV3GATelJp?si=rFHoFJGbRMePC4SubwJKRQ</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. StriFE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A2 is fed up</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>2B had spent many of 9S's lives trying to keep her distance. 9S was always the one who closed it. The deaths were usually hard, but not the hardest part. What was worse was seeing Nines again and finding no trace of recognition. Hearing him call her "ma'am" so formally as if he hadn't just spent months loving her. Having to hold back every emotion because he couldn’t know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually it would go like this. She would see him and feel gutted at his lack of recognition of her. She would resolve to stay distant. 9S would bridge the gap or do something that made her fall in love with him all over again. She'd tell him she loved him. She'd kill him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was harder to resist him in the beginning. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>After killing Nines again and again (17 times, to be exact) and meeting a new 9S with no memories, no feelings for her, she decided that enough was enough, and she couldn’t put herself through this kind of pain anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was cold to him. Any expression on his part was promptly shut down with a quick "emotions are prohibited" from 2B. She never initiated conversation. Any that 9S started were quickly shut down. She imagined that 9S was probably confused as to why his new partner hated him for no reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S and 2B had just gotten to their little camp after a day of scouting. It was set up in a small ruined building, but had enough cover to serve well enough for a few nights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had been partnered up for a while. 2B expected the kill order to come any day now. She wondered if it would be any easier this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S had been unusually quiet that day. He came in and sat on the edge of the chunk of rubble that was serving as his bed. He stared off into space, looking introspective.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is everything alright, Nines? You seem less cheery today."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head snapped up in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit. I called him Nines. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was a habit that was difficult to break. He hadn't even said anything about the nickname before this. He likely didn't even remember. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grin broke out on his face. "2B, did you just call me Nines?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It won't happen again," 2B snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S hopped off his bed and strode up to her. "C'mon, 2B," he said reaching up and caressing her face lightly with his fingertips. "There's no need for that. You act so cold, but I see your facade slip. You care, I know it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B's body went rigid and her jaw clenched. She grasped his wrist tightly. "Don't. Touch. Me," she hissed and threw his wrist away from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S stumbled back a bit from surprise. His expression instantly changed to regret, visible even through his visor. "I- I'm so sorry, 2B. I misread the situation. I thought- I thought that you…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That I felt something for you? Don't be ridiculous, 9S. Emotions are prohibited. And even if they weren't, I'd never feel that way for </span>
  <em>
    <span>you." </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She could tell the venom in her words got through to him. He swallowed, looking dejected and stung, before turning and stalking out the hole in the wall that served as a door, pod floating after him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She collapsed to the floor, head in hands, gut twisting. She'd meant to deter him, but instead she'd completely crushed his heart. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That was definitely too much. But...would anything less keep him away?</span>
  </em>
  <span> she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew she shouldn't, but she ran after him anyway. There were few places to go out in the sparse plain they were stationed in. She spotted a tower with a round top not too far away and headed towards it. Sure enough, when she got close, she could spot Nines sitting atop it, legs dangling over the side. She climbed up the rusty ladder and sat on the opposite side from him. The pods politely kept their distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come to tell me how much you're disgusted by me?" 9S spat, not looking at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, 9S. I was too harsh. You are...a friend to me." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop, 2B. I got the message. You don't have to be overly friendly now. We both know the other's true feelings. There's no need to pretend." Bitterness dripped from his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B scooted over towards him. Closer than she should have. "I am sorry that I hurt you, Nines. It wasn't my intention."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nines…" he mused.  "Why does that sound familiar? Has someone called me that before?" 9S looked up, suddenly realizing how close 2B had gotten.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B didn't back away. Instead, she tugged off her visor, wanting 9S to see that she did care for him, while mentally kicking herself for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked into her eyes for the first time, but also the umpteenth time. She heard his breath catch in his throat and felt him staring into her soul. "2B… I love you. And I usually pride myself on being observant. I thought I'd picked up that you at least care for me too. Guess I was wrong." He took in a shaky breath and pulled off his visor, too. </span>
</p><p><span>2B reached up and caressed his face with her fingertips, just the way he'd done. One part of her screamed </span><em><span>Stop, you're being stupid! </span></em><span>and the other part</span> <span>vehemently said </span><em><span>You love each other, take what you can get.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>9S's breathing was shallow, and his lips parted involuntarily."2-2B?" He stuttered out. "I'm...confused."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leaned in, lips hovering a hairsbreadth from his, and whispered "You weren't wrong. I love you too, Nines."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B wasn't sure who closed that last bit of space between them, but suddenly his lips were on her, soft, yet insistent; unhurried and gentle. 2B’s fingers threaded through 9S’s soft, white hair that she loved so much. The kiss seemed to go on for hours before 9S sat back to catch his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled a bit and said "Wow, 2B. That was a wild ride of emotion." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I’m sorry, Nines," 2B said cupping his face with her hand. "I just-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay, 2B. I get it. You didn't wanna admit it to yourself. Regulations and all.” 9S’s expression was bittersweet. He lay back on the metal platform, and 2B curled up beside him, draping her arm across his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...yeah, regulations.” 2B was pissed at herself for giving in after swearing that she’d never get close to Nines again, but she also just wanted to savor the feeling of being there with him again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Too late now. Maybe next time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve wanted to kiss you so many times, 2B. I’ve fantasized about it, dreamed about it.” He turned toward her and gently traced his thumb along the curve of her bottom lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She flicked the tip of her tongue against his thumb and laughed. “I bet you’ve fantasized about much more than that,” she purred, dragging her nails along the front of his thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S’s eyes widened and his face reddened. “Well...I- I mean I do think you’re gorgeous a-and--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B laughed again and cut him off with a kiss pressed to his lips, grinning as she pulled back. He smiled softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She thought back to their first time with him, how unsure she was. She’d learned a few things every time since then. She knew exactly what he liked now. And given that he’d just confessed to her, he was still a stuttering mess. She liked that just as much as the more domineering side of Nines she’d seen back then. Although that side hadn’t made an appearance in quite some time. Given that she actually remembered their time together, it made more sense for her to take the lead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B saw the want in his eyes and melted.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Killing him is going to be hell.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The kill order came the next day. And it was hell. So she resolved to stay away. Again.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>9S knew he couldn’t avoid 2B forever in such a small region. They were bound to run into each other again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S cursed the absence of his pod, wishing he could ask it about what areas were the most secluded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pod’s absence didn’t worry him, though. Since the wars were over, it was highly unlikely it was damaged or anything. He just wished he knew what the hell it was off doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a bit of time at the Resistance Camp, 9S had concluded that it was one of the most likely places to run into 2B and decided to stay away as much as he could. He was currently holed up at the desert housing complex. It offered nice protection from the elements, company from a few kooky machines, and was out of the way enough that 2B wasn’t likely to come around anytime soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S was planning on resting, but he couldn't shut down all the way. His thoughts were thoroughly occupied with 2B. He’d gotten so close to finally being with her, but it had slipped from his grasp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started thinking of when her dress tore in battle and revealed the little leotard that didn’t leave much to the imagination. 2B also had a tendency to climb ladders ahead of him, giving him a view right up her skirt at her beautiful ass. He could feel himself getting hard thinking of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How many times have we met and fallen in love? There’s no way we haven’t had sex before. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>9S felt a little jealous of himself; the him that had known every part of her, known what she sounded like moaning his name, known what her mouth felt like everywhere, known where she loved to be touched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a groan, 9S unzipped his pants and pulled his undershorts down enough to let his erection free. He could picture 2B’s lust-filled eyes as she climbed on top of him. The feel of her breasts in his hands as she screamed his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head was spiraling when he grabbed his cock and began to stroke, thinking of nothing but her. Her sweat slicked skin and her beautiful mouth and her breath in his ear. His hand pumped harder and faster until he groaned out her name as he went over the edge. “2B, 2B, 2B!” A hastily grabbed handkerchief kept him from making a mess. He panted as he came down from the orgasm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to be with her so bad. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is for her. To keep her safe, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he reminded himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finally went into rest mode.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>9S couldn’t isolate himself forever, especially in the desert where water was scarce. He needed to resupply. He opted for the trader at the edge of the desert. Unfortunately, Jackass was there too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! It’s been awhile.” Jackass beamed and slapped him on the back when he approached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He traded for a few supplies as she continued talking. “Your girl’s been looking for you y’know. Dunno what kind of squabble you guys got, but she seemed worried. You should let her know you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s none of your business,” 9S snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, okay, sorry!” She held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “If she comes around asking again, I won’t lie to her, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t expect you to,” 9S retorted. “Thanks,” he said to the trader, before retreating back into the desert. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>2B was irritating the shit out of A2.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She asked the pod for updates on the search for 21O several times a day. A2 was helping Anemone with planning for a new camp, and 042 was assisting. Every time 2B questioned the pod, though, it interrupted their work and A2 gave her a death stare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B also went around asking the Resistance members if they’d seen 9S at least once a day, which didn’t interrupt A2, but seriously annoyed her. She also made rounds to Pascal’s village, the forest camp, and the desert camp for news of 9S’s whereabouts, to no avail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, after hearing this for several days, A2 got fed up. “2B!” she shouted when another Resistance member was questioned. “If anyone hears from him, they will tell you! You’re driving us all crazy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With impeccable timing, a call came through on the pod from Jackass. “Hey, A2. Tell 2B that 9S just stopped by the desert camp to supply. Must be holed up out there somewhere. Also, he’s super pissy right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” A2 said. “But don’t treat me like your errand girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, whatever. I dunno what’s goin’ on with those two, but it sure is a lot. Anyway, see ya.” The call ended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B came over to A2, but before she could say anything, A2 said "You'll have to pester someone else for a while. I've got crap to do and the pod is coming with me." She turned to Anemone. "Sorry, but this is important. I'll be back in a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, okay. See you later then,” Anemone replied, turning back to work, an odd expression on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A2 strode out of the camp.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>9S hated the desert. Sand got in all the wrong places, and traversing it took forever. Sliding down the dunes sped it up a bit, but also flung even more sand up on him. It was a no-win situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was preparing to take a bath to get as much sand off as he could when he heard voices outside the complex. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He poked his head out the window to see A2 and pod 042 approaching. “Black box signal emanating from this building,” it reported. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“9S!” A2 called up, scanning the windows. “Get your ass down here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want, A2?” 9S shouted down, exasperated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just get down here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S sighed and descended by jumping down onto a ledge, then to the sand. “Alright, what do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I want is for you to go talk to 2B before I kill her. She’s driving everyone at the camp crazy,” A2 complained. “She’s been mopey and annoying and worried about you. She won’t quit asking around and looking for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But...she ran away from me the last time I saw her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She has no idea what’s going on! She thought you were afraid of her. So, you are going to go talk to her even if I have to drag you back to the Resistance camp and lock the two of you in a room together. Everyone else is tired of your drama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clearly not. Come on. We’re going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A2 gave him such a savage look that made it clear that her threat was not empty. “Yes. Just go explain to her what’s going on. Then you can go back to moping.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay. I’m going,” 9S said and trudged along in the direction of the Resistance Camp. “What a pain. This isn’t going to help anything,” he grumbled. A2 turned her ferocious gaze back on him. 9S let out a squeak and sped up his pace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What followed was a long, awkward, and sandy trek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the two androids made it through the city ruins and began the approach to the settlement, 9S got fidgety and slowed his steps. “I really don’t think this is a good idea,” he protested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t care,” A2 said. She began shoving him up the incline to the camp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>2B wasn’t in sight when they entered. “2B?” A2 demanded the first resident she came across. He simply pointed to her room. A2 marched them over to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>9S thought she’d knock and wait for 2B, but instead she opened the door, shoved 9S inside, and slammed it shut behind him. 2B stirred from her bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not coming out ‘til you get this sorted out!” A2 shouted. There was a scraping sound outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shove against the door confirmed that she’d barricaded it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit. Shit shit shit. If I end up hurting her there’s no getting out. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>2B sat up, blinking. “Nines?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was an absolute bitch! I knew exactly what I wanted to happen after this, but getting it set up was Too Much. I rewrote half of it 4 times bc I absolutely could not get it right. As per usual, comments are loved and appreciated</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is only my 2nd fic I've ever written so please lmk if you like it! I'd love comments, even just keysmashes. If you have any suggestions or critiques I'd love to hear those too!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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